ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
Thursday, Jun. 12 2008

The difference a dad makes in a family
By Colleen Carroll Campbell

As Americans celebrate Father's Day this weekend, the changing face of modern
parenthood may prompt some to wonder: Do dads still matter?

The answer no longer is obvious in an age of sperm donors,
single-motherhood-by-choice and same-sex adoption. The reproductive options
made possible by today's technological advances are dizzying, from the
manufacture of embryos with three genetic parents to the creation of scores of
children who have different mothers but the same anonymous genetic father, a
man who never lays eyes on the women who bear his biological children.

In some countries, the concept of biological fatherhood has lost its legal
standing. Canada has replaced references in federal law to the biological or
"natural parent" with "legal parent" to accommodate the same-sex couples who
now can marry there. A similar rationale led Spain to replace birth-certificate
references to "mother" and "father" with "Progenitor A" and "Progenitor B."

In the United States, some judges now use the concept of "psychological
parenthood" as a basis to grant legal parental rights to adults who are
unrelated to a child by biology, marriage or adoption — even, in some cases,
when the child's biological parent objects.

Such developments may strike us as odd, but they merely are the latest rounds
in a long-running war on fatherhood. The more destructive shots were fired
decades ago during a sexual revolution that shattered the social stigma
attached to men who abandon the children they beget. Fatherhood was further
weakened by the advent of no-fault divorce laws and an abortion license that
encouraged male sexual irresponsibility and left men no legal right to defend
the lives of their unborn children. Today, as one-third of American children
are born outside marriage, and many consider the married, mother-father family
an anachronism, fathers seem more expendable than ever.

Before we swap Father's Day for Progenitor's Day, we ought to reflect on the
host of social science studies that corroborate a notion once considered simple
common sense: Dads make a distinctly valuable contribution to the development
of their children.

Such studies are highlighted in the 2007 Father Facts report, a comprehensive
reference manual on fatherhood-related research published by the non-profit,
non-partisan National Fatherhood Initiative. The report cites reams of research
showing how a father's sustained, committed involvement with his children
benefits them in everything from scholastic achievement (children with involved
fathers are more likely to excel academically and graduate) to social skills:
Children who engage regularly in roughhousing with their fathers are more
likely to learn impulse control, be popular among peers and avoid becoming
victims of bullies.

Highly involved fathers have a moderating effect on their children, leading
sons to be less aggressive and more empathetic and leading daughters to be more
confident and less promiscuous.

University of Virginia sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox, who co-authored with
Jeffrey Rosenberg a 2006 federal fatherhood report showcasing similar findings,
notes that caring, highly involved fathers exist outside marriage but most
often are found within marriage. The typical parenting tendencies of fathers
seem to complement those of mothers, with fathers in the average married home
taking the lead in providing for, protecting, challenging and disciplining
their children.

"Fathers are not fungible," Wilcox told me. "They are not second-class mothers.
They play a unique and irreplaceable role in the lives of children."

Intentionally fatherless families may satisfy adult desires, but when it comes
to child welfare, they leave much to be desired. In our compassion for those
for whom the traditional ideal of a married, mother-father family seems out of
reach, we should not ignore the stark reality revealed by common sense and
social science: Children still need their fathers.

Colleen Carroll Campbell is an author, television and radio host and St.
Louis-based fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center. Her website is
www.colleen-campbell.com.